I'm attending forty hours of not-so-interesting training this week involving the Department of Transportation (DOT) regulations for Department of Defense (DoD) employees, which means my brain is slam full of acronymns AND all the things I have to get done at work will have to wait until the weekend.
An older woman from Florida with her botoxed forehead and lifted eyes, whom I haven't seen in over a year, is attending the class also. During our catching up, she said, "You've gained some weight."
"Yes, thank you for pointing that out."
"No," she said, "I just meant your face is fuller now and you look more healthy.
My sister is another shoo-in for the Tactless Olympics. Before I helped her set up her blog (read: plowed through over 500 photos of her drinking with her friends for the right profile photo), she told me that her friend no longer reads my blog because it's too boring, with too many cat and flower photos.
Even if it's true, why would you TELL someone that? I'll have to remember to put up some drunken, semi-naked photos to accompany several girl-on-girl bar stories tomorrow. Or maybe I should sit on and squash her with my giant, fat ass.
20 comments:
sounds like we are leading parallel lives this week. I sent my mom a new picture via email. She wrote back to tell me that all the pictures pale in comparison to the best picture I ever took: a dirt road with interesting shadows covering it.
My sister took that picture.
I have been secret snacking, thus not-so-secret gaining weight. I said something like, "Man, my ass is getting big again." Mark said nothing in return.
I feel for you, Indigo. Why don't we both put fat, drunken shitty pictures of flowers and shit on our blogs.
Ladies! You know that botox face says stuff like that to make herself feel better! Indigo, I would be happy that the only thing you have to write about are kitties and flowers. Eeesh at least your life isn't tumultuous.
Enjoy the peace, the drama will come in time and then you can write about that!
Oh GAWD, some people can be tackless. One, I doubt your ass is any bigger than mine and second you HARDLY have a boring blog. Your blog is one of the best out there - hence I read it all the time, geez ... I wouldn't listen to stuPID people.
Smooch. :)~
What no retorts? No botox jokes? My sister likes to tell people what others say so much to the point she'll even embellish or make one up. Like the time she got mad at her friend who said her house was clean for once. It made her so mad she told her friend that I said she was sheltered and crazy. I barely know the woman from Eve!
Pffft boring?? I think NOT! I'm with Stephen, you are definately not boring. I don't do or read boring.
I love your pictures, your stories and thoughts.
Now turn around lemme see the ass.... hmmmm nope doesn't look big to me, and believe me, I know big (when I see it in the mirror) lmao
As far as semi or naked pictures, feel free to post away, but, I vote for more male nudes than females... I'm just funny that way. BIG HUGS, Steph
(OH my Grandma used to love to say to us, OH Stephie, or Kathy, you've gained weight... jealous old bitch. She didn't even try to add, I mean you look more healthy.)
well, of course, I've told you many times that you are anything but boring. but it falls on deaf ears.
until your ass is large enough to serve tea off of, I wouldn't worry.
you've been too bony most of your life, anyway. surely, a few curves are a welcome addition...at your age. Ha.
and truthfully, I find that "why don't you go fuck yourself?" works wonders when dealing with siblings.
LOL - the military is probably the only racket that abuses more acronyms than the software industry does. Sometimes the alphabet soup gets to be a real PITA.
ROFL! I loved it! Tactless Olympics...hahaha!
You should have challenged Botox B*tch to an eyebrow raising contest. And chosen a ridiculous pic for your sister.
...or not. Might be too passive agressive.
But fun.
;)t
My reply to the botox lady might have been something like this: 'Yes, I've gained weight; I find it to be cheaper than botox for filling out my face. How do YOU afford it?'
I have literally gained more than 30 pounds this summer -- I'll only blame about 10 of it on steroidy medication. The look I typically get is one that says: "Jesus! Did you EAT one of your kids? You're giant!" (They rarely say it, though. They just LOOK it.)
I choose to smile and say, "I know. I hardly recognize me, either!"
People tend not to think before opening their mean and stupid mouths and saying stupid and hurtful things.
How was Dad?
Actually, if I read right....you'd have to crush her with your fat face.
Ah.....was that a pin dropping?
i don't understand people who don't have mental filters. i think surely some folks must have a hearing defect -- an inability to hear their own voices. or really even to hear their own thoughts before something shoots out of their lips.
"Hmmm...I thought you had botox, I must be mistaken" would have sent her running for a mirror.
Or the old standby "I might be fat but youre ugly....I can lose weight, but you cant lose ugly" (not that I'm saying your fat, but you get my drift...)
I dont bother with pleasantness in those situations...I just come out and say something like "why did you say that ... or youre a bitch arent you ...or do you think your opinion matters"? Yeah, Im real fun at parties...
I'm ambling away now...
ok I know I left a comment earlier saying I don't think you are boring at all. And I meant to put on it that my family has a way of letting me know when I have gained to much weight, they give me a look. But I forgot to put that and it seems my comment is gone anyway?
LMAO laughing at the comments.
Even IF your ass were big enough to serve tea on, I know plenty of men who'd be right there ready to 'pour.' lmao
Jock, she's gonna smack you! lmao
(and then Monty) lmao
ambling off after Sher... laughing (sorry for the richter scale readings, they'll stop once I'm out of range, lmao)
Yessssssss
I know lots of people like that as a matter of fact I'm related to a bunch. One of my favourites was a comment my sister-in-law made after I decided to put on some weight. I had broken up with my X and the relationship had been very bad and the stress had kept me pretty thin. I decided that at 5 foot 5 inches that 110 lbs was not a great weight (I was sick all the time and I had no boobs) so I went to the gym and put on 20lbs. She asked me if I had gotten so "BIG"..translation fat so no one could push me around anymore.
Niceeee...she's always full of stuff like that-Lord love her.
;P
Hey, I have these comments happen to me all of the time. I ran into the mother of my best friend from college and highschool and she said "Oh, beautiful little (insert my real name here)...you look exactly the same. Still so pretty. Your thighs are bigger though." She went on to talk about some folk art festival she was going to later that day.
And you want to hear about fat? I weighed 175 when I delivered the fay boy last month (I am 4'11") and I now weigh 145. It will be a year before I weigh 105 again. You really could use my ass as a buffet table. Perspective, perspective, my dear.
Rose
Why can't I comment on your dad's site? I had crafted an appropriately witty introductory comment, weaving funny stories along with sage wisdom, and then it wouldn't accept it!
Do I have to know the secret handshake?
Please tell him I tried, and I'll be back later to figure it out. IF I can figure it out...
This made me laugh. Sometimes, I wonder if your sister and I are the same person. Of course, because I have two or three years on her yougin' ass, I feel compelled to say that her friends have too much alcohol in their system to truly enjoy the witty comments that ensue here...
Maybe you shoudl have tactlessly responded, "mabye your friends just aren't too bright."
Anyway...I can only imagine what you must think of me and my 85 bacehlorette parties...somehow, I managed to avoid any girl on girl making out in the last few weeks - maybe it means I am getting old.
Oh crap, I never thought about photos. Maybe I'd better rethink that snapshot of butter that I just stuck on my last post...
As an aside, I keep waiting for my darling brother to piss me off so I can publish the pix of him at age 11 in my junior prom dress and lipstick!
Post a Comment