We were all sitting around/goofing off in the office Friday morning when my boss said he'd like to start a photo journal of run-down schools standing next to elaborate churches to show how our priorities, as a society, are backwards and that religious organizations should have to pay taxes like everyone else. A co-worker chimed in that she didn't think people without children should have to pay taxes (children are our future, who cares if you birthed them? Do you really want our country run by a bunch of ignorant twats?), though she suggested a flat tax of 10% on every purchase so illegal aliens would have to contribute to our social programs.
Belated note to self: avoid conversations about religion, politics, and especially BOTH.
We're both liberal, so I generally agree with him, but when my boss said he cheated on his taxes every year because everyone else did, I was stunned (and for the record, no one I know cheats on their taxes). I wasn't trying to be rude, judgemental or even snotty, but I said, "Hm. That surprises me. I thought you had more integrity than that." Try saying that if you ever want to end a conversation immediately, because it came to a screeching halt as he stomped out of the office.
I walked outside to call my sister, and was leaving a voice message as he walked past, "Mumble, mumble...integrity. Try looking in a fucking mirror!"
Since I wasn't exactly sure what he said, or if he was even talking to me, I said, "Excuse me?" but he didn't reply. He just got in his car and peeled out.
I try to be a bigger person (sometimes), I really do, but my fingers on a keyboard don't always have a filter. I decided I should email him an apology, and told him I was sorry that he felt the need to overreact, which a friend pointed out was arrogant and snarky. Now I need to apologize for my apology when I should have just left it. Sigh. Two co-workers down, seven to go.
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17 comments:
you decided to email and apology. for my own edification: what kind of an apology is "I'm sorry YOU over-reacted?"
just asking.
Apparently I'm from the passive-aggressive school of action. My apology was to point out the fact that I thought he was acting like an ass. My bad.
I don't think you should apologize for how you really feel. You only confirmed that he already felt guilt. It wouldn't have pissed him off if he thought he was in the right. Bravo, it takes a strong person to do or say the right thing.
Personally, I'm not sure I would have apologized ... just because his feelings got hurt doesn't mean you need to say your sorry. He's the sorry one and he opened himself up to it by his own admission. What a twat he is - cheating on his taxes. Especailly being the fact he boasts about it so freely - you'd think he'd have half a brain to not admit to something like that. Again, what a twat.
Pat yourself on the back for speaking your mind. Screw the filters.
Hugs -
Stephen
Wow! Do you think he is having an innappropriate response to being called on the carpet for doing something so underhanded and sneaky? Is he trying to push his shame off on you? *duh* Ole Boy just admitted in public that he cheats on his taxes ...and he wants YOU to look in a mirror 'cause you reminded him that it is ILLEGAL and IMMORAL? Hmmm...btw, your "apology" made me giggle. He got called out twice in one day!
Don't you DARE take it back!
;)t
Well, there's all that validation you wanted.
You go, girl!
Jock: As you know, I wasn't looking for validation...simply sharing something that happened.
I asked you if I should clarify to make it clearer from the beginnning and you told me not to bother.
ALL: I'm a mean, bitchy, passive aggessive moron with no social skills and I was not looking for any "go, girls!".
well, gracious sakes, alive! your work stories are so...nutty.
well, one thing that i've noticed about myself is that any time i attempt to backtrack. any time i have said something either purposelly or accidentally rude, and then i try to back up and fix things, i ALWAYS make it worse. so now i don't usually try to fix anything. i just hope time takes care of it really quickly.
This reminds me of a certain someone entering into a discussion with me about how bad corporate fraud is these days while faking looking for a job to continue accepting unemployment. I think I might have burned a bridge by opening my mouth. But, again there are officially less people in my family to alienate now.
The saying, Truth hurts, is a good one.
As a Mom, I probably would have said. "If all your friends were jumping off a cliff, would you jump too... huh MR?" lmao BIG HUGS, Steph
Your apology made me laugh, reminded me of a "marie barron" apology (from everyone loves raymond) LOL
Quindigo: I have no problem with anything you said to the man about his 'integrity'.
The only thing I had a problem with was you calling the email you sent him an "apology." by no stretch of anyone's imagination was that an apology. to delude yourself into thinking it was is ridiculous.
doesn't mean I think you were wrong, other than...well, you do have to work with the man.
Patresa: NEXT TIME! I am officially going to be the person that does NOT try to fix things.
Liv: yeah, you know, hypocrites get to me every time, family or not.
Steph: tomorrow, I'm going to tell him that everyone steals computers from work, and I'll be needing a box ;)
Jock: yes, I realize it wasn't a bona fide apology, which is why I said I TRIED to be a bigger person who can let things slide....baby steps, you know?
wow I don't know anyone who cheats on their taxes. i know people who don't pay them but not cheat. But then reading your responses made me all stressed just for that. Good Grief.
I'm not a good apoligzer myself. I try something like " I am sorry you are an ass but hey get over it." then I usually get yelled at for that too. Oh well. LOL
What a strange week. It's like you've been playing that game scrupples with your coworkers. I'd have to agree with you though talking religion or politics is trouble at work. There's no right answer to those questions and your bound to upset or offend someone.
Oh lordie. This is why I completely stay out of religious and political conversations!
I did chuckle at your comment to your boss!
God. Your initial apology is EXACTLY what Husband says to me when he's pissed me off: "I'm sorry you're so mad about me having my own opinion..."
Oh, OK. Now I feel better...no, no, wait a minute! I feel WORSE because now I'm telling you how YOU should feel...
Well, you get the idea.
For the record, I don't think you had anything to apologize for. As everyone here has already said, you were commenting on HIS poor behavior, so fuck him. (Not literally -- unless that would help things?!?)
Oh! And before I even got very far into your post, I was still bewildered by the fact that your BOSS was sitting around/goofing off with you.
The day either of MY bosses "sits around" with me is the day I have a gun pointed at his head TELLING him he's going to sit around with me.
They are stodgy and anal, with capital esses and ays.
Can't wait to hear what happened today... (At your job, not mine. I imagine mine will be filled with more filing, and by killing tiny ants that have wandered in to snack on the pregnant office assistant's well-stocked snack drawer.)
Oh good idea, tell him I'll be needing a box too, because 'everyone else is doing it'. BIG HUGS, Steph
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