AmesJay's last hurrah

I've written about my IT guy/pathological lying co-worker, AmesJay for over a year now, but the party ended last week when he turned in his key, I.D. card and walked out without notice (true to form, he left a joint in his desk drawer). He told us that his grandmother left him close to $300,000 when she died, so he bought a house and was starting his own computer business. Yeah, and I've got a herd of duck-billed platypus in my back yard.

His wife called yesterday because she found out AmesJay had been hooking up with some skanks he met over the internet and she was starting to doubt things he told her. She asked our boss why he fired her husband (he didn't) and said that he had moved in with his parents.

Karma? Always finds you, even without a forwarding address.

Some of his more memorable stunts:

June 22, 2005 -

I wasn't going to write about this because I don't want my IT guy to read it (I think he found my blog site)...but yesterday at work after everyone else had left, he had locked the front door and was "working" at his desk. I received an email that I needed to reply to so I wasn't paying much attention - but then I could hear some rustling and out of the corner of my eye I could see his hand - he was WHACKING OFF at his desk.

What kind of freaking perverts (um, and lushes, crackheads and whores) do I work with??

November 14, 2005

I went into work Friday AND Saturday to get caught up and because we're having an office relocation project - moving around desks and personnel (you know, 'cause I don't move enough in my HOME LIFE). I took over the area of my coworker AmesJay's - sexual freak extraordinaire IT guy who likes to watch porn at work. Yes, I doused the area in Lysol and spermicide.

Apparently, there are other inappropriate things he enjoys at work. He had forgotten to remove his things from two drawers, so I was helpfully throwing all his crap in a box. Guess who had a ziploc baggy with marijuana in it? On a MILITARY INSTALLATION! Oy.

Lesson: keep your hands in your own drawers.

February, 2006

Dear Mr. I-don't-read-your-Space-but-a-friend-of-mine-that-scans-computers-on-post-told-me-your-entry-popped-up-for-security-reasons-because-of-key-words-like-marijuana-and-military-installation:

Yeah, right. You may be the world's greatest liar. Your wife may believe you're a church-going, nonsmoker that doesn't drink and spends all weekend working (out of town? every weekend? with no overtime pay?), but obviously she has no clue that you're a snake in weasel's clothing. What you lack in integrity, you more than make up for with sleeze.

You have a problem with me because you're the dumbass that left drugs in your desk drawer? You want to start shit? Piss off.

And? Those photos of your dick that you circulate around the internet? You might want to rethink - you're not all that.

May 1, 2006

I haven't mentioned my IT guy, AmesJay, much lately, since he confronted me about information I had shared here. Okay, I won's say a word about the pathological lies, drug deals or skanky sex-capades. Happy?

Supposedly, his wife had a baby four and a half weeks ago. He said she was being induced on a Thursday so he had to leave early, but then she didn't actually give birth until three days later, on Saturday. He took the following week off to help with the baby...there were medical problems the following week with jaundice and heart surgery...week 3 was filled with car trouble and a new vehicle...then last week, his grandmother in Tennessee was ill, then died, so he was out that whole time. Thirty days of excuses.

Given his propensity to exaggerate/lie out his ass, we've all been a little suspicious about his life, wondering how much is true, and speculate that he probably has another job, but is using up all his vacation time so he doesn't lose it. Our boss started to worry that AmesJay could sabotage our work/computer system and make it impossible for us to fulfill our contract, so he asked me to change the administrator password on all the computers.

Our computer expert will no longer be able to access anything and I cannot wait to get to work this morning!