Saturday, December 02, 2006

B & E

Every morning, including weekends, I stop by my old place of employment to feed the feral cats before going into my new office. On Saturday, when I tried to get in, I noticed my key was missing. Not wasting one impulsive second, I called my ex-boss.

Me, indignant and slightly foamy: What? You couldn't just ask for my key back? You had to be sneaky and take it behind my back? You don't trust me enough to have access...

Him: What?

Me: I know I wasn't supposed to have it, and that's not the point...the cats should suffer because I no longer work there?

Him: What key?

Me: MY key!

Him: I thought your key broke?

Me: I said it broke, thinking you understood, so I could keep it in order to let myself in during the weekends to feed the cats, but someone stole it from my ring last week!

Him: Of course I trust you...I would never take your key. It bothers me that someone else did, and didn't turn it in to me, since I'm responsible for the warehouse, but I'll get to the bottom of this and give you another one, don't worry.

Me: Okay, fine. Thanks.

It has occured to me that the more you act like a raving lunatic, the more people do what you want.


Sarah said...

I love the template, Indigo! Ho.

This post reminds me of the phone call my sister made to me. I wasn't home and she left this on my machine: "Sarah, just wanted to let you know that if someone tries to rape you, you should definitely shit yourself. That'll deter them." The she hung up.

Darren said...

It was AmesJay!

JustJock said...

While my first thought was to remind you that, usually, when things are foamy, they are rabid and need to be put to sleep (not that I'd want that for you, of course. Heh), I decided I would remind you that in my particular case, raving like a lunatic begets the opposite reaction. I become obstinate, cold, distant, and make it my life's mission to make sure you never get your way. Just saying.

kay said...

Oh, you know it was Jessicunt, don't you?

I'm not kidding. I'll kick her hillbilly ass for her if she continues this nonsense.

Keep on your ex-boss (not literally - ha. I know he'd like that...) about that key. SOMEbody needs to be in trouble for getting in your personal stuff.

Wow. Nice Christmas rant, Kay. Way to spread the joy, and all that crap.

Today's word verification is sort of the way I sound in the morning:


And I don't even smoke.

Mamabooties said...

Wow if someone got into my shit I would be hella mad. But then the only one I let into my stuff is my ex-husband since he part time lives with me, or enough for me to feed him anyway and get knocked up by him again. And well when I start to rant and rave he leaves. My mom hangs up on me and well I guess it doesn't work for me. Damn gotta find a new way to get my way.

Candy~ said...

I'm just going to comment on the comment about shitting yourself. wow that's just brilliant, you think it would help you not get arrested too? Who would think? Well, anyway i don't know anyone who can shit on command so what's the likelyhood? Not like I ask or anything... ok I'm rambling I need sleep. I bet it was Jessicunt. That hooker.

Haphazardkat said...

ARGH at someone taking your key and ha ha ha ha haaaaaa at all your commentors!
*shit yourself*...

kittycatlane said...

I tend to be like Jock, in that if you act like an ass to me, I make sure that you don't get your way.

Ya know, he sounds like a pretty nice guy. I hope he finds out who took it, and or gets you a new one. Those little ones need you.

Sad thing is, your very last comment is true. My Father gets his way constantly, and that's the reason why. He not only acts like a lunatic, but yells, rants, raves and is asshole extrodinaire. Yet, they always give him exactly what he wants. Go figure.

Quindigo said...

Sarah-ho: Guess what the next voicemail I leave my sister will be? (hahaha! That's so freakin' funny. And wrong!) ;)

Darren: I want to say AmesJay is living in South Carolina...(he's not, but I want to say it).

Jock: but think of all the fun sexual harrassment suits we could have if you were my boss.

Kay: my sister & I have already made a pact - that Jessicunt will be getting her bad karma ass kicked! Seriously, who DOES THAT?

Leah: well, at least they don't steal your keys? ;)

Candy: It would seem much easier to piss on command...

Kat: I think Sarah's sister needs a blog filled with more useful infomration, don't you? :)

Steph: I rarely rant and rave, but I'm thankful my boss was okay with it. Er...not that he had much of a choice...

Mamabooties said...

that's very true about keys. But then everyone that is important has one to my house. So well I guess at anytime someone can come and take whatever they want and I wouldn't even know it. Figures.