Thursday, December 14, 2006

Finger prick

The last place someone like me (a rage-filled, man-hating shrew) needed to be was the town piss-scented police station, but there I was, getting my fingerprints taken for the third time this year because the powers that be at the Department of Defense judged me unworthy of current security status, and I have a new job and have to go through the rigamarole again, don't you know.

I was minding my own business, paying my fee, as some crackhead detoxed down the hall ("I need a bologna sandwich, fuck, that's all!") and a woman sobbed in the chair next to me.

He: you should have known better. What were you thinking? If I hadn't gotten there...

She: I'm so sorry, I know, I love you, I..I....(her words trailed off into snot-muffled sobs so I couldn't tell exactly what else she was saying, plus I was trying very hard not to eavesdrop. As if).

He: well, I guess you didn't try hard enough, and I can't even touch you because I'll contaminate the evidence and what were you thinking?

The man continued to nag and berate his too-young-looking girlfriend until the receptionist finally butted in, "Shut the hell up and stop discussing the case. Can't you just show a little compassion? Jeez."

Joy to the World.


Darren said...

Imagination runs wild with the few words you have relayed.

Sarah said...

I would have been fingerprinted for a fourth time for assault on an asshole.

Leah said...

oh i am glad I am an office bitch and don't need to be finger printed. I hate the police station even tho I have friends that work at our local station here. I still hate them...

Pookie Babcock Esq. said...

Even though you're a man-hating shrew, and I'm an everyoneandeverything-hating pig of a man, I need to tell you something. Take it for what it's worth.

Your entry today is the first thing in a long time where you used your talent. Most of your entries are fine and fluffy, but nothing more. This was different. This was real writing. Evocative. Moving. You wowed me, man-hating skank whore bitch.

Take that hatred for my ilk and focus it on your writing. You'll be doing all us pigfuckingbastards a favor.


junquedujour said...

well shit! that was YOU standing there?

Quindigo said...

Darren: it's the word "prick" in the title, isn't it? ;)

Sarah: I have to believe in karma at times like this.

Leah: anyone that touches a computer on the military base has to go through all these extra security measures, blech.

Pook: surely you're mistaken...any similarity this has to real writing was purely coincidental.

Brenda: the bottle of wine didn't give me away? ;)

edgykay said...

What's even better is when you LOSE that job because your fingerprints actually come back as a "hit."

That's the great part.

I'm seriously considering burning my fingertips completely off my hands.

Did you make the guy a bologna sandwich? Fuck! That's all he wanted!

kittycatlane said...

I love eavesdropping. I freely admit it.

I must be the crackhead, who's not detoxed yet, because I thought you had another post last night.

Oh, and would someone bring me a damn bologne sandwich?

Quindigo said...

Kay: I didn't tell you this, but...a strong acid would work as well ;)

Steph: yeah, I had to resize the photos...'cause I'm anal like that.

Haphazardkat said...

Yeah, I have to go through the same fingerprint bull***. *sigh* there goes the plans for my fall back career of crime!

Merry Christmas to you, your son, the kitties and the Dog :)