Monday, November 28, 2005

Don't funk with the babysitter

My (much) younger half-sister with whom I share a Q tattoo, is spending her college Christmas break in Alabama with her mother, who lives forty-five minutes away from me. I'll have partial custody so I'm sure we'll be spending puh-lenty of quality time getting drunk, shopping together, and making cds. She's cuter, younger, with a killer bod so I've taken the only logical step: I started the Atkins diet today so at least I'll be thinner. I expect the excruciating headache tomorrow, followed by extreme bitchiness by mid-week. I will be svelte.

And what the hell are pork rinds, anyway?

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