Monday, August 20, 2007

Boy Logic

Today I asked Patrick how the new school year was going. He told me it was going okay, but on the first day, he told all his teachers to call him "Rick" so he keeps missing his name during roll call. This from the boy whose cell phone says, "You've reached Rodney - leave a message."

[Why? Why?]

Friday, August 10, 2007

Honey darlin' sweetheart

As a strong, independent, no-nonsense kind of Yankee, this is a bit difficult to admit, but...I kind of like being called "baby".

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

I love my job, part XXVI

The most stupendous part of the federal government employee hiring process is that someone who is a disabled veteran with virtually no experience or particular knowledge has more "points" than, say, a conscientious, diligent contractor with years of experience (and a cute haircut) who's currently doing the job.

Un-generalized afterthought: I'm not just bashing him because he's male; it's because he's a dumbass. The man who has come to me for years with questions is now running the program? Bravo.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Dalehole

The other half of my Apache pilot* induced meltdown in June was caused by Dale. He was everything the EX was not: sensitive, patient, generous and, apparently, a player. We hit it off immediately when we met in November, though it was short-lived because he had to go back to his life in Ohio, 743 miles away. Our friendship grew over cell phones, and eventually we coordinated a rendezvous in Milwaukee before the weekend in Chicago with my sister (et. al). She was even smitten by him.

*Since my divorce, I've gone out with an Apache pilot, a Blackhawk student pilot, a TH-67 Instructor pilot, and a retired Chinook pilot who forgot to mention he was still married. Is it time to move? Seriously.

I thought we had a fabulous time together, even imagining it was the first trip of many, so I couldn't understand why he seemed distant after we returned home. I made excuses at first about why he stopped calling - "oh, he's busy catching up at work"; I'd leave a voice message - he'd call a few days later; I emailed - he ignored. I was tired of being pathetic so I deleted his number and tried not to obsess (haha, do you know me?). He doesn't drink or like the same music and he's allergic to cats - it was doomed from the start, obviously.

I haven't talked to Dale in 6 weeks, but he called to wish me a happy birthday on Thursday. I didn't answer, so he's called an additional two times and left messages. WHY? Can't you just blow me off and move along? I think I'd have more luck understanding quantum physics than men at this point in my life. Please pass the quarks.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Want to Piss Me Off?

Try this:

Print out "5 Tips to Improving Self Esteem" from an internet website, highlight the section about jealousy, attach a sticky note that says "Happy Birthday, CQ - homework" then mail it, anonymously. Like I won't recognize your handwriting after fifteen years of marriage?

For your edification, darling, I'm not jealous. Angry, disappointed, bitter and sad, perhaps. Please get your emotions straight next time you feel the need to help, and, oh yeah: you suck. Bastard.